Best Jerk Page 9

  “I get that,” Carter said. “I know my pain was yours too. But be happy for me. I love her. Can’t you see that? And I deserve to be happy again.”

  “It’s too soon,” I said.

  Carter shook his head. “That’s not for you to decide. That’s for me to know. I’m happy. I want this. And if you’re going to keep being such a dick about it, I’m going to get rid of you as my best man and find another one.”

  “What?” I asked. I hadn’t expected Carter to go to this length. “You’re going to fire me?”

  “You bet your ass I will. I’m not going to let you ruin this for me. I’ve been through enough hell, and I deserve happiness as much as the next guy. I don’t want to get someone else to do the job, but I will if it makes Abigail happy and helps me get what I deserve in life.”

  I had no words. I didn’t know what to say to that.

  He turned around and stormed away, and I felt like he’d punched me in the gut even though he hadn’t touched me. Carter had never been this forceful with me before. It meant he cared a hell of a lot more about Abigail than I’d thought. And it meant this was a lot worse than I had anticipated. He couldn’t be with her. He’d had someone he’d felt for like this. He couldn’t do it again. It wasn’t right.

  I watched him walk to the women, smiling and pretending like everything was fine. He pulled Abigail to the side and hugged her, telling her something. I imagined him telling her that he’d taken care of me, that I wouldn’t be a problem anymore. He would be wrong.

  This only made it that much more important that I did something about it. Abigail was nice, and I felt for her. It was sad that her heart was the one that would be broken. But I had to stop this from happening for Carter’s sake.

  Callie looked at me. I couldn’t tell what her expression meant, and I didn’t care. She hadn’t bothered to find out what I was all about. So I distanced myself again. I looked at the world as a series of pictures that had nothing serious attached to it. It was the easiest way to get through everything that had happened.

  Callie turned to Abigail, and they moved from one flower arrangement to the next. I watched her move. She carried herself with elegance and grace, and she looked amazing in capris and sandals, a blouse, and her hair up and back. Her skin was like porcelain, and her curves were delicious. I slid my eyes over her body and tried to imagine what it would feel like to touch her. My cock stirred in my pants, and I willed myself to stay in control. I tugged my shirt down and adjusted my belt so my hard dick was as hidden as I could get it under my clothes.

  I wanted Callie. She’d scolded me like a child, and we didn’t agree on anything, but she was also headstrong and confident, and her body was to die for. No matter how much I hated how she’d treated me, her pros outweighed her cons, and I wanted to fuck her.

  Again and again. As many times as I could. Maybe it wouldn’t help my mission to fuck up the wedding, but it would be a release. It would give me what I wanted, and that was plenty.

  Callie looked up, catching me staring, and I averted my eyes. I was attracted to her, but I wasn’t going to be a creeper. I turned my back and looked at some shitty rose arrangement. I thought about what Carter had said to me about firing me as his best man. That would mean I would be uninvited from his wedding as well. I couldn’t imagine him not wanting me there.

  I had been there the first time. I had stood by Carter’s side and watched him commit his life to the woman he loved, to the woman who would be his whole future. How could he not see that this was killing me to do it all again? With someone else? A woman I barely knew. I didn’t know if she was good enough for him. I knew next to nothing about her, and Carter deserved so much. More than I thought Abigail could give him.

  Did I feel rotten about this? Yes. I wasn’t the type of person who wanted to hurt my best friend. But this was so much bigger than that.

  “Are you coming?” Carter asked, walking to me.

  “Where?” I asked.

  “One more florist and then we’re going cake tasting.”

  I didn’t groan the way I would have if Carter hadn’t put his foot down.

  “I guess,” I said.

  Carter clapped me on the back. “Drive with me. Callie and Abigail are going in one car. We get a bit of time every day to catch up, right?

  I shrugged. He wasn’t wrong, but I would never be the same as before. When we left the store, pulling onto the road, I was quiet. I was sulking after being treated like a naughty child. Was everyone going to scold me?

  “Look,” Carter said. “I’m sorry I got up in your face. I hate it when we fight. You’re my best man. My best friend. But this is important to me, and that should, by default, make it important to you too.”

  I nodded. “I understand what you’re saying, but I can’t, Carter. How am I supposed to do this?”

  “I know. It’s not easy. I’m putting on a face sometimes so Abigail doesn’t think I’m not in this, but it’s not easy. So I get it. But I love her.”

  “You said that.”

  “I’m saying it again. I love Abigail. She’s different, but if you only take some time to get to know her, you’ll realize she’s a great woman, that I can be as happy with her as I was before.”

  I didn’t respond. I didn’t tell him that I didn’t think it was fair, that I felt like he was being a traitor by giving his heart to someone he barely knew. I kept it all inside because I’d started to realize that Carter was set on forgetting. He said he was moving on, but I knew what it really was. He was ignoring the past. And I couldn’t let that go. I couldn’t act like it was a good thing, and no matter how sweet Abigail was, she wouldn’t make the cut.

  No one would.

  The rest of the day was a fuck up. I had to pretend everything was fine, that I cared, that I enjoyed myself. I didn’t. I was upset, and it was hard work to put on a face they would buy. But I managed it, and Abigail and Carter went back to make googly eyes at each other while Callie pretended like nothing had gone wrong between us. We were one big fake group where everyone wore a mask that hid their true emotions, and everyone pretended it was a happy day when it was all lies.

  Nothing was right, not until I could fix it.

  Chapter 15

  Callie

  “I can’t believe you’re getting married in three weeks,” I said to Abigail.

  “I can’t believe I’m getting married at all!” she responded.

  I laughed. “Yeah, you got me with that one. But we’re doing well with planning. We’re on track.”

  Abigail nodded and ran a length of ribbon through her finger. She stood in front of a wall of ribbon wheels at a gift shop.

  “I’m so glad you’re the one doing this, Cals,” she said to me. “I’ve seen you do one beautiful wedding after the other. This is going to be amazing.”

  “I think so too,” I said. It was all coming together beautifully. We barely struggled to find the services we needed, and every time we ran into a rejection or a full booking, it fell into place almost immediately after.

  I hadn’t been sure about the wedding at first, but as we went along, I was starting to take all our little victories as a sign. It couldn’t be working out this well if it wasn’t meant to be, right?

  Grayson was our only hiccup. He was still up to his bullshit. I was frustrated by it, but I tried to take it in my stride. I wasn’t sure what bothered me more, that he was trying to stop the wedding or that he was pretending nothing had ever happened between us. He didn’t even treat it as a one-night stand. It seemed non-existent.

  It didn’t feel non-existent. I still couldn’t get the jerk out of my mind. But nothing would happen again anyway. And even though he was hot, it wasn’t like he was a nice person, so I didn’t know why I cared.

  “I think this is the perfect color,” Abigail said, choosing a ribbon. “Don’t you think?”

  I walked to her with the wedding swatches. She was going with pink as her main color, but it was a specific pink and harder to find. I
nodded when I matched the ribbon up to the swatches

  “Good eye,” I said.

  Abigail took the ribbon off the spool and walk away to find a shop assistant who could help her measure and cut the ribbon. When she returned, she had it wrapped in a tight little bundle to give to Marissa for the favors.

  “So, you never told me how you met and how all this happened,” I said. I paged through a catalog for different colored tablecloths.

  We hadn’t had a chance to talk alone since Abigail had arrived, and I had been so busy running around for the wedding plans, I’d barely had time to think about it either.

  “Oh, you know, it was one of those love-at-first-sight things. He’s not like the other men I’ve met. When I saw him, I couldn’t get him out of my mind.”

  Yeah, I knew what the felt like. I hated to admit it, but it was true.

  “And when he asked you to marry you, it wasn’t out of the blue?

  “Oh, it was,” Abigail said. “It was so sudden. But it felt so right. Do you know what I mean?”

  I nodded. I tried to understand what she meant. If a man had proposed to me unexpectedly, very soon into our relationship, would I have accepted? I guess that wasn’t something I could answer. I hadn’t ever been very serious about the men in my life.

  “I’m glad you’re happy. That’s all that matters. He’s a good guy.”

  Abigail smiled that smile all brides should have when they’re thinking about their husband to be.

  “I can’t always figure him out,” she said. “He’s had a serious relationship before. But he doesn’t like talking about it.”

  “And that doesn’t bother you that you don’t know?”

  Abigail shook her head. “I trust him.”

  It was more than I would have been able to do, but trust was so important in a relationship.

  “Speaking of relationships,” Abigail added. “What’s going on with you and Grayson?”

  My stomach did a little flip, and I forced myself not to react.

  “What, the constant bickering because I don’t like how obnoxious he is? Yeah, very romantic.”

  Abigail laughed. “Your sarcasm is adorable. But I see the sexual tension between you two.”

  I looked up at Abigail. “Really? You see sexual tension?”

  “Well, tension at least,” she joked, and I realized she hadn’t been serious. I wouldn’t have known how to answer her. I didn’t want to tell her we had slept together. Partly because it had been deliciously dirty, and I wasn’t sure I was okay with that yet, and partly because I didn’t want to admit I was attracted to him.

  “I wish you would find yourself a good guy,” Abigail said.

  “I’ll get there.”

  If it was about getting a good guy, Grayson was definitely not it. It helped me put things into perspective. Grayson would never be the guy I would date or marry. And if that wasn’t the case, it didn’t matter that he didn’t care about me after we’d fucked. I didn’t care that he didn’t seem to care. He was just a groomsman who was looking for trouble, and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t had men like that in the wedding party before. Of course, none of them had been as magnetic as Grayson, and I hadn’t slept with any of them. But there was a first time.

  And a last.

  I thought about Grayson’s body pressed against mine again, his hand between my legs, his voice commanding when he’d taken me to that storage closet. I shivered before shaking off the thought. He wasn’t the person for me no matter how good he was in bed, and it would stay that way. I put him out of my mind and focused on my time with Abigail, on girl talk and quality time and taking care of things like the candy for the candy bar Abigail and Carter had decided to have at their wedding. It was a fun element I hadn’t seen at any wedding before. It made the whole event seem playful and childlike but without losing the romance.

  When we finally finished our to-do list for the day, it was late afternoon, and my feet were sore. We had walked a lot, moving from one shop to the next, taking care of all the little things that took time and patience to complete. It had been a great time to catch up, so I didn’t mind we had spent so much time out and on our feet.

  Carter’s parents were hosting a barbecue at their place, and we were all invited. It was a get-together for the entire wedding party so we could get to know each other before the day, and I thought it was a great idea. It was hard to merge two families, and if the wedding party was comfortable around each other, it made all the difference.

  Abigail introduced me to the few people I hadn’t met yet, cousins and aunts.

  Carter’s parents’ place was huge with a great entertainment area. The grill was going on the patio, its glass doors thrown open to create an outdoor patio in the summertime, and the air was filled with the smell of food.

  Because the evening was hosted at John and Deborah’s house and it was where Carter and Grayson stayed, Grayson was around too. I tried to avoid him if I could but stayed polite when I couldn’t. I wasn’t in the mood for trouble, but it seemed to follow him wherever he went.

  “What are you having, Callie?” John asked me when I joined him at the grill. He was cooking alone. Carter and Grayson with a few others stood around a fire pit a little farther down, each with a beer in hand, and Abigail was talking to Deborah about dresses and shoes.

  I looked over the options. Burgers and hot dogs and brats.

  “I think I’ll have a hot dog, thank you,” I said.

  John put my order on the fire, and I watched him turn the meat systematically.

  “You don’t have to hang out here with me,” John said kindly. “I like cooking, and I’m happy doing it on my own. This is standard. Go on and join your friends.”

  I smiled at him and did as he suggested. I was a little uncomfortable around John. I didn’t know him at all, and I didn’t know what to talk about when we’d exhausted what I did for a living and how I knew Abigail.

  I joined the men at the fire pit. I had a vodka lemonade in my hand, and I sipped it quietly, listening to the conversation. The men were joking about stupid things like football and raining on the wedding day. I noticed Grayson was quiet, keeping to himself. He laughed now and then and offered a sentence or two, so it wasn’t too obvious, but he wasn’t being his arrogant self. What was up with him?

  “I have to get more wood from the back,” Carter said. “Jack, give me a hand.”

  Carter clapped one of his groomsmen on the shoulder, and they set off around the house.

  “Tony,” John called, and when Tony left, it was just me and Grayson around the fire. He stared into the flames, an expression on his face that I couldn’t read.

  “You’re very quiet today,” I said.

  Grayson looked at me without saying anything.

  “Why aren’t you trying to cause trouble like you usually do?”

  The comment sounded bitchier than I’d meant it, but there it was.

  “I guess everyone needs some time off, right?”

  “They seem really happy,” I said again, trying to steer the conversation in a direction.

  “Yes, all couples look happy at first. Until the first difficulties hit, and then they fall apart. And if they’re already married? Divorce is so much messier than a breakup.”

  “If it gets messy, they can work through it, fight for each other. Till death do they part, right?”

  Grayson chuckled without emotion, staring into the flames again. “Right. Death.”

  I frowned. He was being so weird. I had hoped we could at least have a normal conversation, but maybe my snarky first comment hadn’t allowed for something like that. Still, Grayson was usually cocky and full of shit, eager to have his opinion heard, to get his two cents in.

  “I’m going inside,” he said, finishing his beer and getting rid of the bottle. I shook my head and followed him through the groups of people talking until we were alone again.

  “You’re following me,” he said.

  “Listen, I know I was
a bit of a bitch the other night when I asked to see you.”

  “A bit?” Grayson asked.

  I ignored it. “But the wedding is in three weeks. I know you’re not happy about it, but it’s going to happen whether you like it or not. I will see to that myself.”

  “You have a wonderful little hero complex, Callie. If it makes you so happy thinking you saved something special, go ahead. Do what you need to do. I don’t lecture you about your reasons for keeping them together any more than I want you to lecture me for my reasons for this to stop.”

  “What reasons?” I asked. He hadn’t ever told me his reason for wanting to stop the wedding from happening.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know? But you see, you’re so busy fighting for what you think is right, you forget that other people have a different reality than yours. So go on, be the little point of light that keeps everything together. That’s what makes you happy. You’re all about bringing things together. Go on, keep it together.”

  I blinked at him. “What are you talking about?” I asked, but Grayson shook his head and turned his back to me. He climbed the stairs to the second floor where I wasn’t going to follow him. I was merely a guest, and it was off limits to me. Grayson stayed here, and he had a room he could escape to.

  His words echoed in my mind when I stepped back outside. What was he talking about with his reality and mine and his reasons for breaking them up?

  Chapter 16

  Grayson

  The past couple of days, I kept to myself. I didn’t want to mingle with everyone. I didn’t feel like plastering a fake happy smile on my face when everyone discussed and organized the wedding. I wanted to be left alone. I let Carter handle some things solo. I was willing to bet a part of him was happy I was out of the way anyway. I knew they were getting irritated with me, and I knew why. I had been a dick from the start. And even though I had my reasons, I had to admit it was unfair of me to stop the wedding. Carter had been hurt in the past, and he’d been able to move on and find happiness again. So, why couldn’t I?