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Bella fanned herself after he left and shook her head. “There’s something going on between you, isn’t there?” Her voice was soft.
I shook my head. “Nothing’s ever happened.”
“It’s going to. Just a matter of time. Close your other eye now.”
She lined the other eye, giving up on the subject.
I didn’t want to admit that she was right.
“Gorgeous!”
I looked in the mirror and admired the perfect wing she’d managed to draw.
“Fake.”
“Stop it. Even the girls who think they’re nerdy deserve to have fun. It’s experiencing life.” Bella tilted her head. “I have something to show you.”
She pulled her tank top to the side as she glanced out the door, revealing an impressive tattoo of a stack of books. I looked at it closely — Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Bleak House, The Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby.
“You’re a nerd!?” I gasped.
She giggled and nodded. Bella replaced the strap and headed out to the living room, calling out that she was getting water. I looked into the mirror and pressed my lips together before I stood up and followed her.
I took the water bottle that she handed me and sat on the couch with her.
“I was in all the English classes in high school. I was a drama nerd. All of that. I came here and decided to switch it up a little bit, like you did. I tried out for the team and got in. I discovered that it’s perfect for while I’m in school. We’re not that much different than the bad girls, Emma. We still have fun but we’re selective and have less pregnancy scares and STDs.”
I burst out laughing as Jackson walked in, overhearing the end of her comment and snorted.
“Judgy much, Bella?” There was sarcasm in his voice and she rolled her eyes.
“You’re one to talk, Jackson. We all know your reputation,” Bella chuckled and sipped her water as she winked at me. I wondered what more she knew than the assumptions that I kept making, all of which came out to my not being experienced and not the type of girl who would be Jackson’s type.
“I’m not that bad. You listening to gossip too much or what?” Jackson asked.
She shrugged with a smile.
Bella stayed for a little while before she said that she was meeting a friend for dinner, giving me another long wink before she grabbed her purse to leave.
I took another sip of my water, giving Jackson a curious look.
“Is your reputation that bad?”
“I dated a lot when I got drafted. Of course, I was exposed to models and actresses, girls like that. They were all over us as players. You know how I was in high school and even that wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be. That was exaggerated a lot, just like this part of my life. It wasn’t that they were mindless bimbos, not all of them. Some were smart and had a lot of potential for something serious. My schedule is crazy, though, and I didn’t think that I had the time for anything serious.” Jackson chuckled. “People are more complex than some seem to think.”
I wasn’t. I was inexperienced, and I knew it. Taking this job was a big step for me and I thought about that as I took another sip of water. “I guess.”
“They are. We’re always growing.”
He looked at me again. “I’ve seen the changes in you since you moved here alone. They’re good, but scary. Emma, I keep wanting to protect you and shelter you.” He shook his head.
“I wasn’t Rapunzel locked in my tower at home. I went out and lived. I had Willow and my other friends, along with Tommy. You act like I am made of china.” I shook my head.
“Who the fuck is Tommy?” Jackson asked.
“Tommy Dayton. We were together for a while when you and Greg were going to college. I had an adult relationship, Jackson.”
He sat up, leaning forward as he looked harder at me.
“Did you…” he trailed off. “None of my business.”
I was angry. “Yes. None of your business. We were dating.” I saw a dark look pass over Jackson’s face. “Do you seriously think that I’m this fragile, innocent lamb? Good grief.”
I stood up and walked to my bedroom. I heard Jackson follow me and he grabbed my hand.
“I want to show you something,” Jackson said.
A hundred thoughts went through my head as he gently pulled me into his bedroom.
He dropped my hand and gestured to a bookshelf that was behind the door. It was full of hardbacks and paperbacks. I guess I’d never noticed it before as the one time I was in his bedroom all I’d noticed was his incredible body. I stepped back, both for distance and to satisfy my curiosity as I read the titles. There were some classics in here as well as a variety of genres. I was impressed.
“Em, I got the highest grades in my class at school. I worked my ass off to get to college and this team. I didn’t just wing it like everyone thinks jocks do.”
“I never said that you were an idiot. I know that you’re smart,” I said softly.
I wished he was just your token dumb jock. I could get over him then and tell myself that he was all wrong for me. I knew that he was smart, and even compassionate, under all his gruff exterior. I closed my eyes for a moment.
My willpower was fading. I wanted Jackson with everything that I had as I kept pretending to look at the books, finally moving from the room. It was too hot in there and we were too close. It smelled like his masculine scent of forest and peppermint and I couldn’t take it any longer.
I walked blindly to my room, closing the door as I fought the urge to run back to him. I just wanted to kiss him and break the ice between us, but even I knew that it wouldn’t stop there. I knew that we’d take this to the end no matter what the damage.
I slid to the floor and stretched my legs in front of me. This already small apartment felt like a prison some days.
I leaned my head back as a familiar heat washed through me.
I gave in and slid my hand between my legs. I was becoming obsessed. I considered just sleeping with someone else for a fleeting moment, but then I smiled bitterly. I only wanted Jackson, and I knew that. I wasn’t the kind of girl to use a guy to get over another one. I slid my hand into my pants and underwear, stroking myself hard as I searched for the release that I needed. I was pulsing and wet the way he always made me, and I found my needy clit. When would this be enough? When would I be over the way that Jackson made me feel? I stroked and made myself wetter before sliding my fingers inside myself, pressing my palm against my pussy.
I thought of him kissing me, nibbling my neck, tugging gently at my earlobe. His strong hands on my waist, gliding along my hips, squeezing my ass. Jackson pressing against me and feeling his hardness push against me. His hand slipping under my clothes and his fingers lightly tracing a pattern on my skin. I imagined him gliding his hand down my panties to find me wet and ready. His kisses going down from my collarbone to my breast, to my hips to my aching pussy.
I whispered Jackson’s name as I came, rocking myself into my hand. I wanted the idea of him to be enough and not need to get myself off like this. I didn’t want to feel this needy and lonely at the same time.
Nobody would understand this. My family would be against it and Greg would be angry with both of us.
I stayed in my room until I heard the front door close, standing to retrieve the water that I was so desperate for. I changed before going out to the living room, not knowing how long Jackson would be gone. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV, staring blankly at a movie, and remembered waking up the other morning with a blanket covering me. It was sweet. I knew it was Jackson, making me care for him even more.
I called Willow to distract myself, getting lost in stories of her own life as I laughed with her. She asked me how everything was, and I explained that it was fine. I was just getting used to my job and starting school in a few days and we discussed that for a while. I longed for her to be able to come and talk to me in person.
Bella was great
, but I’d known Willow for years.
“Em, are you okay?”
I paused for a moment. “I’m fine.”
She knew me too well, but I wasn’t ready to talk about this yet. It was still too painful.
“I’m just tired,” I said, bailing out of a serious conversation. “I’m going to go to bed soon and get some sleep. We’re leaving tomorrow morning for the away game.”
“Have fun,” Willow said as I thanked her and ended the call. I dropped back against the couch, wondering where Jackson was. If I was that aroused after that time in his room, I wondered how he felt. Would he sleep with someone else to get me out of his system? He had every right to since I wasn’t going to be enough for him even if we did end up hooking up.
I finally took a shower and dried my hair before going to bed for the night, tossing and turning. I had a small bag packed for the night that we were going to be gone, and was ready in theory. I was looking forward to seeing the crowd at another stadium and just hanging with the group, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get Jackson out of my mind even a little bit.
CHAPTER 12
JACKSON
We pulled into Miami and parked behind the hotel we were staying at. The team was on one bus and Emma was with the others on another bus behind us. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and considered sending her a text throughout the flight and bus ride, but I didn’t.
I wasn’t sure what to say. I couldn’t tell her that I went out drinking last night and turned down a random blonde at a bar. I ended our conversation before it even really started.
What the fuck was happening to me?
I got off the bus and took my bag, making my way to the room I was sharing with Nick. We always paired up, and I knew that Emma was likely bunking with Bella. I was a little worried about that, knowing what a flirt Bella could be. She played the good girl role well, but I knew how wild she could get. I didn’t want that rubbing off.
I was shocked that Emma had slept with someone. But she was an adult. I had to accept that, and I was starting to think that Greg should accept it too. It sounded like it was just one guy, but fuck if I wasn’t jealous.
I headed across the lobby to take care of the rooms with Coach, only leaving to go to mine once everything was settled. I liked Coach Foster a lot, but I was also trying to prove that I was worthy of playing more on the field. I needed him to play me more. I looked across to the front doors where the girls were coming in and smiled at the sight of Emma as she laughed with the cheerleaders. I wasn’t sure how she’d fit in, but this looked good on her.
Too good. I saw the way that Joe, the quarterback, was looking at her. He was a great player, but he fucked anything with legs and right now, his sights were set on my girl.
My girl? Emma seemed to be just fine not being my girl right now.
I walked to the elevators as I pushed that thought right out of my mind. I needed to focus on the game.
We checked in and had a few minutes before we headed over to the stadium to practice. We were getting there before the girls and we ran the field together before practicing plays for a while. The home team got their shot just before the game and we all headed into shower and dress for the game. It was a big one since this team came close to the Super Bowl last year.
I put my clothes on in the quiet locker room, noticing the intensity of the moment. I knew we were all feeling the pressure, but I also had the issue of Emma weighing on my mind. I caught Nick’s gaze and he searched my face for a moment.
“Hey man, you good?”
I nodded slowly as Coach walked into the room. He gave us a pep talk, somehow sounding positive as he told us to kick ass. We stood to head out to the field as Coach Foster looked around, checking for any signs that players needed extra focus.
I stood in the tunnel just before we made our entrance, glancing to the left to see Emma huddled with Bella as they waited to run through the crowd. I was a little concerned with her being here at an away game and how the opposing fans might react. They could get nasty and I didn’t want to ruin my career kicking someone’s ass tonight.
They announced us, and we ran out on the field to the boos of the local fans, grinning as we looked around. This was nothing new, and I glanced at Emma as she hurried down the steps and stood right behind the cheerleaders near our bench. Great. I was glad that she was away from the stands but now her ass was on display for anyone to see in the tight shorts under the bright lights.
Fuck me. I hated that everyone could see her this way. I heard Coach call us into a huddle and followed Nick to listen to his plan, forcing myself to focus. If I did play tonight, I needed to know what the hell I was doing out there. I walked over to the edge of the field and watched the first play, ignoring the cheerleaders as I glanced over at Emma from time to time.
She was cheering for the team as well, dancing around with Bella to the music as I forced my eyes back to the field. We were in the lead early on and the guys kept it going as I paced the edge of the grass. I noticed Emma’s eyes on me a few times and looked back at her as the screams of the people in the stands faded away, leaving me in some weird moment with her. I blinked and heard Coach calling my name before I turned my head.
“Bryce is out. Get your ass on that field.”
Holy shit. I slipped my helmet on and ran out, nodding at Bryce as he limped past me with a pained expression. I joined the formation, and we made a play that got Nick the ball and running to the end zone. He crossed the line, and we all cheered as he danced around.
We won the game by ten points and headed to the locker room to clean up. We all showered and changed into slacks and button-up shirts to head over to a rooftop club. We were going to have some drinks and mingle with fans who traveled with us.
We all got there and hit the bar, ordering drinks and talking as people started filling the bar. I saw Bella leading the way inside with Emma and a few others walking behind her. Emma was wearing a short, clingy black dress with heels and her hair down around her shoulders.
I wasn’t the first one to notice her and Joe made a beeline for her. I set down my beer and strode over to the group, my eyes burning into Emma’s.
“Em, I need to speak with you.”
“What are you doing?” Her voice was low as we walked out to the balcony and I looked around to make sure we were alone. Seeing that we were, I gazed into her face that had more make-up on than usual and watched her glossed mouth slip into an involuntary pout. She smiled a gorgeous smile and she was beautiful, her eyes shimmering in the dim lights as I realized that she was happy to see me.
“You can’t keep me from talking to other men every time there’s one within a few feet. I can handle myself.”
I wondered if she cared about any other man in the room as I reached out to slide my hands down her arms. I felt emotion rising in me, coupled with my frustration as I sighed.
“Emma, you can’t torture me this way.”
My voice was soft as I gazed into her eyes, reaching up to cup her face.
“You can’t talk to me like I’m a child. If you wanted me, you should have said that first. I am going to end up with someone. Eventually.”
Her eyes burned into mine, challenging me.
“I don’t want you with anyone else. I want you for myself.”
Her hands were on my chest and I grabbed her by the elbow, pulling her closer. She slipped her hands up my chest as I backed her against a wall.
I moved in closer and could smell her body wash.
She breathed in and her chest rose up and down.
“I want you, Jackson.”
I could no longer resist this woman.
I kissed her softly, unable to believe that I was finally feeling her mouth against mine. Emma wrapped her arms around my neck as she kissed me back, pulling me down closer to her.
Fuck. I tilted my head and slowly deepened the kiss, noticing her lips tasting like cherries. She was the best thing I’d ever tasted and the most beautiful woman
I had ever held in my arms. I didn’t know where I was or why as our tongues slid together, and I wrapped my hands around her waist to pull her closer against me. Her body was perfect under this little dress and I reached down to cup her ass as she moaned against me.
She tried to climb me, eager to wrap her body around me.
I pulled back to look for some place we could be alone. I saw a door and dragged her over to try it, then pushed her inside the storage area for the bar. I lifted her on a box and pulled her face close to mine as I kissed her hungrily. Emma wrapped her arms around me and I pushed her back before kissing her face and neck.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Emma murmured against my lips as I kissed her again.
I pressed against her, feeling her heat through my pants as I spread her legs wider with my body. I wanted to take her right here, but this wasn’t the right place for us to be together. I wanted her in my bed where we could be alone and I could show her how much she meant to me.
Still, I kissed her harder. I slipped my hands under the short skirt, sliding my hands over her legs and finding the hem of her underwear.
“You’re fucking dangerous in this dress,” I stroked my thumbs over her upper thighs, feeling how wet she was with the tip of my thumb. I lowered my mouth to suck on her neck. “Why the fuck aren’t we in Tennessee right now?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured as I slipped my hand over her leg, pulling her body to me as she rocked against me.
“I won’t take this all the way with you. Not here. I. Will. Make. You. Come.”
She let out a guttural moan and gripped my hair.
I stroked her through the cloth before slipping a finger underneath and finding her bare, slick pussy. Her clit was hard and needy as I circled it slowly. Her breathing changed as she got more excited and I found her parted lips with my mouth. We kissed deeply, her breath hitching in her throat as my finger kept moving against her.
I slipped a finger inside her and my cock hardened against my pants. I wanted to rip my pants down and bury myself inside her, fucking her until she didn’t even know her own name. Instead I slid my thick finger into her tight wet core, slipping it against her walls.